


25 Kisses

by AceQueenKing



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 12:44:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/pseuds/AceQueenKing
Summary: "In one kiss, you’ll know all I haven’t said."(Or: 25 snapshots of a relationship, from beginning to end.)





	25 Kisses

_1\. “Good morning” kiss  
_  
He wakes up on Saren’s cot, his legs half tucked in Saren’s bedsheets and his only thought is _holy shit_.   
  
Relieving mission tension through sex is one thing; waking up in Saren’s _bed_ is another. There are rules of engagement, and Nihlus wakes keenly aware that he has broken them.   
  
 Saren shifts, awake, eyes sharp and focused on him.   
  
“Morning,” Nihlus chuckles,  self-conscious. “Guess I fell–”   
  
 Saren says nothing, but pulls him forward until their foreheads touch.   
  
“Oh,” he says. “I – _oh_.” Nervously, he plants a kiss on Saren’s mouth-plates.  
  
Saren doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t turn away.   
  
_2\. Kiss on the forehead  
_  
It’s not like Saren is worried that Nihlus Kryick is late for what is, most certainly, not a date.   
  
 It’s not like he is waiting, not like he will be upset if the boy doesn’t show. It’s certainly not like his stomach is twisted into knots, not like he feels _disappointed_.   
  
“Hey,” Nihlus says, door swishing as he enters. “Sorry. You know how Tevos likes to talk.”

He opens his mouth to mutter about how it isn’t _talking_ that Tevos wants from Nihlus, but then Nihlus kisses his forehead and hums happily and Saren’s anger melts away. “We good?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
 _3\. Drunk/sloppy kiss_  
  
Saren’s a different lover when he’s drunk, Nihlus thinks.   
  
It’s not that he’s a different person, per se; these are still the same soldier’s hands, the same sharp eyes. He’s just…less inscrutable. Easier to please.   
  
Drunk, Saren groans when he rides him; lets his mandibles flounder into an almost impossibly small smile when he leans down for a sloppy kiss.   
  
“Fuck, Kryik,” he grunts, panting heavy. Different. Sexy. Still Saren.   
  
“ _Yes,_ ” he whispers, then allows his tongue to linger on the cute divot between cowl and neck.   
  
Saren – quiet, reserved, almost always _silent_ Saren –  writhes underneath him and Nihlus chuckles. 

 _4\. Awkward kiss_  
  
Kissing is not a _turian_ thing. But it _is_ a Nihlus thing.   
  
Nihlus is a master of mouth on mouth, tongue on tongue; his movements lithe, gentle, pleasurable.   
  
Saren is not a master, and not a particularly good student – he’s well aware his movements in this are clumsy, his mouth more sharp than spurring. It is not a skillset he’s developed, but for Nihlus he will _try_.   
  
Nihlus withdraws, cocky, and he growls, following that mouth and biting down hard on Nihlus’ lower plate.  
  
Nihlus groans a bit, but doesn’t complain as Saren practices ramming his tongue down his throat.  
  
 _5\. Angry kiss_  
  
“I’m so _fucking_ pissed with you,” Nihlus says, throwing his breastplate somewhere in the vicinity of the cockpit. He doesn’t care where it lands. 

Saren says nothing, too busy pulling off his own armor.   
  
“What were you thinking?” He asks, sighing. “You didn’t need to kill them.”  
  
“It was safer,” Saren says, closing the distance. “I’m not taking the chance those mercs might have alerted the others to our presence. A few deaths are worth it _if_ those deaths save more lives.”  
  
“You are _impossible_ ,” Nihlus growls, but he doesn’t argue when Saren pulls his mouth down for a kiss.  
  
 _6\. “I’m sorry” kiss_

“I’m sorry,” Nihlus says, sub-vocals buzzing guiltily. He’s fucked up; his hesitance to set off Saren’s charges has led to an ambush, which has led to Saren’s arm hanging by his side, useless and broken. 

“Doesn’t matter. We need to set it.” There’s pain in Saren’s voice and Nihlus’ heart aches.  
  
“Spirits….You sure?”  
  
“Just hurry.”   
  
Saren bites his right arm as he takes his left; Nihlus hopes he won’t bite through his plates. He swallows his nerves and breaks their unspoken code, pressing a quick kiss to Saren’s cheek while setting his lover’s arm and murmuring apologies into his skin.  
  
 _7\. “I’ve missed you” kiss_  
  
Saren gazes over the store’s display, displeased. Nihlus doesn’t need any _more_ useless baubles and anything practical worth buying is something Nihlus already has.   
  
“See something you like?” The shopkeeper chirps, and he’s about to simply leave when his eye catches a rich brocade of green and silver cloth.   
  
“That,” he says, and ignores the way the shopkeeper smirks at his purchase.   
  
   - - - 

“Oh, _Saren_ ,” Nihlus says, twirling it around his fingers. “This is beautiful.” 

“You were always complaining you’re too cold without…”   
  
   “Thank you.” Nihlus says, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I missed you, too.”   
  
_8\. Seductive kiss_

Nihlus wakes up alone, and knows Saren has had the nightmare again.  
  
Saren greets him wordlessly, pushing breakfast towards him: some meat, a small pool of _miel_ to the side. 

He says nothing,  grabbing a bit of meat and dragging it through the _miel_. Saren watches as he suckles it before devouring it. 

“It’s good,” he says, sub-vocals husky. Saren nods and takes his own, sweet _miel_ dripping down his hand. 

When Nihlus catches it with his tongue a couple seconds later, Saren pulls him into a passionate kiss and Nihlus makes sure to banish Temple Palaven from his mind.   
  
_9\. “War’s End” kiss_

When Nihlus curls his arms around him, Saren closes his eyes to the death and destruction in front of him and leans back into Nihlus’ embrace. 

“Spirits,” Nihlus mutters. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have left you alone with them.”  
  
“We didn’t know,” he says, kicking a still-bright blue meta-turian. He hadn’t thought there would be more, after… 

“I’m still sorry.” Nihlus presses a tender kiss to his mandibles, and he wants to yell at him for touching him on a mission, but he can’t, because for once he needs it, because all he can see is Desolas, eyes still glowing blue.   
  
_10\. “Goodbye” kiss_

“Go,” Saren says, in command even with half of his face blown off. 

“No.” Nihlus holds him close, heart simultaneously exploding and imploding.

 “No.” He pulls up the spectre comm line, dials in the emergency code for man down.  
  
“Get…out.” There’s blood in Saren’s throat. “I’m bleeding out. Won’t..”  
  
“Saren,” he says. “ _No_.”  
  
“Ff–uc.” Saren collapses onto his back, gasping. “So bright…”  
  
“Hold on,” he whispers. “Please. Help is coming.”  
  
“Nihlus…” Saren’s remaining hand grips his own, and Nihlus squeezes back. “Nihlus, I…I have to–…”  
  
“I know,” He says, and presses a kiss to Saren’s hand. “Hang on.” 

_11\. “I almost lost you” kiss_

He holds his lover’s hand in a hospital bed, wires relaying information the only thing that tells him Saren will okay – but his eyes remain blind, his breathing slow. 

He’s still too close to gone. 

Nihlus presses his face to Saren’s sleeping fingers; he doesn’t jerk away as Tevos enters. Her gaze flicks from Saren’s hands to his eyes; she folds her arms, unimpressed. 

“Kryick. You have a mission.”

“Not until he wakes up.” His hand tightens on Saren’s.

Her mouth hardens.

“Please.” His voice cracks. “I almost lost him.”

Tevos shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but it can’t wait.”

_12\. Kiss on the nose_

He wakes up alone, half the man he was.

Nihlus is gone, on a mission – his only goodbye a message on Saren’s omni:

||  _Mission. I’m so sorry. We’ll talk when I get back, ok? ||_

Saren knows what “we’ll talk” means.

He supposes he cannot blame the boy. Nihlus is young; it makes sense he would not want to support a cripple for life. It makes sense for him to leave.

And yet, even expected, it still hurts.

Saren opens his omni, and stares at a message from happier times: Nihlus leaning lovingly into his arms,  mouthplates rubbing against his nose.

_13\. Kiss on the ear_

“I missed you,” Nihlus whispers into his ear as they tumble down onto his bed. There are whispers in his mind, growing, ones that promise nothing but death for the boy in his arms, but he tries to ignore it. “Did you miss me?”

“Yes,” though he did not miss Nihlus; he  _mourned_ him. He mourns him still, mourns the horrible future the machine’s dreams have shown him. 

“Are you sure you’re well enough for sex?” Nihlus asks, then laughs when his hands tighten possessively across his shoulders.  

Nihlus nips playfully on his mandibles, but it doesn’t silence the voices.

_14\. Kiss on the neck  
_

Saren’s different when Nihlus comes back.

He holds him tighter; his eyes are heavier. Saren, somehow, has gotten the notion that  _Nihlus_ is the one who had the near-death experience, not him, judging by the way he holds him.

It’s not until after, when they’re both exhausted but Saren’s mouth affectionately nuzzles his throat and Saren’s hands linger on his hips, that Nihlus realizes that Saren didn’t expect him to come home after the accident.

He holds Saren tighter, tries to say  _I love you_ ,  _you big idiot_ but Saren closes his eyes, and Nihlus settles for holding him instead.

_15\. Kiss on the back_

“I don’t want to be on my stomach.” Nihlus grumbles as he presses between young, unhardened plates. “Want to see you.”

“Later,” he promises, hands cupping Nihlus’ seam to distract him as much as apologize; he can’t bear to look at him, not with the mechanical god’s words still echoing in his ear.

Nihlus makes an odd noise, pouting.

“I need…you,” he says, the truth as much as it is a lie; what he needs is a miracle, a savior, a _plan_. “I need it this way, Nihlus… I-”

“Okay,” Nihlus sighs, and he kisses the boy’s back in gratitude.

_16\. French kiss_

Six months is a long time to be apart, and, apparently, all the time it takes to cure Saren of his disdain for public displays of affection.

Saren is on him the moment he lands and wastes no time, sliding his tongue against Nihlus’ as his hands grip his fringe tight, so tight it hurts.

He isn’t sure what’s gotten into Saren, but Nihlus curls his hands lovingly around Saren’s tense shoulders.

“Hello, Saren,” he says, laughing. “What’s going on?”

Saren says nothing, but his eyes look troubled, and Nihlus wonders if Saren will ever tell him what’s bothering him.

_17\. Shy kiss_

When he flips them on the bed, puts his legs over the boy’s own, Nihlus looks at him like he’s gone mad, and perhaps he has.

He growls, his sub-vocals faltering but pulsing with a submissive tone. Nihlus, shy, thumbs his knee. “Wait, really?”

“Yes,” he says, and prays giving himself to Nihlus will drown out his doubts, the machine’s demands.

 _He is weak_ , Sovereign shouts. 

 _No_ , Saren prays, as Nihlus prepares him gently.

“Oh, spirits,” Nihlus whispers as he takes him, one smooth thrust. “I never…. Saren, Thank you.”

It doesn’t hurt until Nihlus kisses him, mouth soft, chaste.

_18\. Surprised kiss_

“Are you happy?”  Nihlus asks, arms curled around him and holding him tight, while he tries concentrate on ignoring Sovereign’s call.

“What?” He turns over to look at him, surprised.

“With me. Us. Are you happy? You seem so distracted lately.”

“…Do not be absurd.” There’s no need to tell Nihlus how much he means to him.

Nihlus understands, kisses his cowl. “Okay. Is it your mission that’s bothering you so much, then?”

“Yes.”

“Can I help?”

“ _No_.” He’s surprised by the own vehemence of his words, but he’d kill Nihlus himself before ever sacrificing him to the machine god. 

_19\. Sad kiss_

Saren’s getting older, and the lines on his face are thicker. Nihlus knows it’s not  _just_ from age.

He traces one as his lover sleeps; a prominent line that wasn’t there six months ago. Saren wakes instantly, eyes dark, face cloudy.

“Yes?”

“Just…tracing your lines,” Nihlus presses a kiss into his neck.

“Pointing out how old I am?” In the dark, voice still husky from sleep, he sounds downright ancient.

“Counting down how much time is left until I’ve got you all to myself.”

Saren doesn’t laugh like he used to at retirement; he just stares. 

“Go to sleep, Kryick.”

_20\. Exhausted parents kiss_

Saren’s not the kind prone to flights of fantasy.

But he’d be lying if he didn’t think of a future, of a family, with Nihlus.  It was a fleeting thought before Sovereign; now, it’s a fantasy he dares not think of. 

Sovereign is a _jealous_ god.

He knows now that he’ll never live long enough to have a child, but when he lies exhausted but unable to sleep, desperately craving those dark brown spines, he thinks of Nihlus holding a little one, alive and safe; the child won’t be his, but it will be Nihlus’, and that will be enough.

_21\. Jealous kiss_

Saren is a thousand miles away, even with Nihlus’ mouth on his groin.

“Saren?” He asks, after tonguing those stubborn plates to no avail. “You ok?”

“Yes., He says, but heavy, weary. “Just…tired.”

“O-of me?” He sputters, anxiety pounding in his chest. “Of..this?”

“No.” Saren’s mechanical hand caresses his fringe. “Just… this mission.”

“Ah.” He crawls up the bed, curling his arms around Saren. “You want to wait?”

“No. You’ll take me, tonight,” Saren commands, shifting onto his back. “I….cannot.”

“Sure,” he says, and tries to ignore his discomfort; Saren hasn’t asked to be taken on his back before.

_22\. Giggly kiss_

“Nihlus, you’re drunk.”

“You’re one to talk.” Nihlus nuzzles into his shoulder. “ _Honey_.”

“Don’t call me that,” he mutters. “It’s…undignified.”

“Mm, what should I call you?”

“Saren.”

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Nihlus swings into his lap, pulling his neck back to kiss the tender skin. “I’ve earned the right to give you an embarrassing nickname.  We’re practically bondmates, you know.”

“Nihlus…”

“I’d like that, someday,” Nihlus sighs,  squeezing his hand as Saren nuzzles his neck. “Being bonded.”

He squeezes Nihlus’ waist; presses a kiss to the tip of his fringe.

His traitorous tongue stays silent. He can’t tell him.

_23\. Last kiss_

Nihlus sucks in a hot breath as Saren traces lines upon his skin: Saren's  _colony_ lines, a swift glide across his fringe, then two solid lines from eyes to chin. 

Saren’s eyes never waiver as he claims him.

It’s another sign that things are wrong with Saren, drastically wrong: his fingers too heavy, his eyes too bitter but Nihlus can’t help an excited shiver from taking over his body. He never thought that they would be  _bonded._

He traces his marks on Saren in return, smiles when he feels Saren gasp at them, and seals their bonding with a kiss.

_24\. Returned from the dead kiss_

Saren sleeps in fear.

Not of the monstrous being that invades his mind, no. He is beyond that now, after Eden Prime. He fears the dream that calls to him, a dream more sweet and devastating than Sovereign could ever hope to be. 

When he is asleep, Nihlus is curled around him, kissing his throat as Nihlus’ hands trace fresh lavender lines Saren will never have.

“What’s wrong?” Nihlus asks. He doesn’t answer. 

“Is everything alright, husband?” Nihlus rasps in the voice he silenced.  

He tries to answer, but he cannot, not even in his dreams.

He wakes up screaming.

_25\. “We can never be together” kiss_

He never feels the last kiss Saren gives him, the burst of hot lead that kills instantly, painlessly.  He never feels Saren cradle his body one last time, never feels his lover lay him downs with hands that, for the first time, shake from a kill.

He feels Saren walks away, but his spirit follows.  

He is only a powerless observer when Saren collapses onto the strange ship, wishing desperately to press his lips into Saren’s breast, to listen to his unknown heart.

“I love you,” he whispers to his beloved murderer.

Saren chokes out his name but turns away.

**Author's Note:**

> My version of the kiss challenge seen [here](http://resoan.tumblr.com/post/110563293035/kiss-meme).


End file.
